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THE VIEW FROM HERE - Parents too often believe that abusive behavior is not a problem in their private schools, many of which are run by religious groups. As the LA Times Reported today (2-14-2023), the sex abuse of children by the Catholic Church was hidden for decades, A Reckoning for Portugal Church http://bit.ly/3k4FpgW . In that country, there have been an estimated 4,415 victims going back to the 1950's. Obviously, an abusive institution cannot be identified by waiting for its victims to step forward and out their abusers. While the Catholic Church is more likely to sexually abuse young boys, girls are also victims.
In Brooklyn, the problem arises in the ultra-Orthodox schools with a scandal about local DA’s who fail to take action. “Jewish leaders — like Catholic bishops — try to handle these affairs internally.” Feb 2, 2009, NPR, Abuse Scandal Plagues Hasidic Jews In Brooklyn.
Evangelical schools also abuse children and then they blame the victims. Sept 30, 2021, Mother Jones, They Went to Bible College to Deepen Their Faith. Then They Were Assaulted—and Blamed for It.
Secular private schools also cover up decades of abuse. Despite the #MeToo Movement, girls are not the only victims. Children of either gender can be abused. February 12, 2023, The Baltimore Banner, Broken Boundaries: How Private Schools like Gilman Handle Sexual Abuse by Teachers, By Liz Bowie and Cadence Quaranta relates decades of abuse at private boys schools in New Jersey.
Parents Ignore Signs of Abuse
When I was young, the students from parochial schools talked about physical abuse, especially being hit by rulers often across the knuckles. The physical abuse seemed obvious to us, but the parents called it discipline. Now, we realize there was more than knuckle rapping.
Psychological Abuse Has Lasting Impact
One woman who is now in her eighties explains that her first day at Catholic school, the sister ridiculed her clothing, saying that she looked like a boy. She decided then and there to abandon the Church as soon as she could. There were years more of the psychological abuse, while her mother would entertain the daughter’s tormentor in their home, offering the good sister beer whenever she visited.
Another woman related her experience at Los Angeles Catholic girls high school. She said that when a student lost something like a purse, Sister Mary Margaret (she called all the sisters “Mary Margaret” to conceal the identity of the guilty) would send the girl to the office’s Lost and Found and then direct the class to pray that she would find her purse. If girl returned with the purse, the sister would praise St. Anthony, but if the purse was not found, she’d scold the class for not praying hard enough. If one believes their mythology, Sister Mary Margaret was teaching the power of prayer. If you do not believe it, then the she was psychologically abusing the girls by blaming them for something out of their control.
Another indication of an abusive environment is a school which does not allow its authority to be questioned. High school coaches are notoriously abusive. The obedience to authority can be based on religious dogma, in machismo, or in some special therapy, e.g. tough love, or in the case of Indian Schools in America and Canada in the philosophy "Kill the Indian to Save the Man." wiki
As the articles from 2021 and 2022 show, historic abuse has been covered up, and then exposed, only to be covered-up again, and it is still happening today. Anyone who thinks that children are not still being physically, sexually, and psychologically abused each day lives in a fantasy land.
Deceit is Inherent in the Abusers’ Modus Operandi
While child abuse itself is hidden, there are other tell-tale signs that something may not be right. A school which uses half-truths, lack of candor, secrecy, etc. to protect its image is likely covering up a deeper school culture of abuse. Financial abuse tends to go hand in hand with child abuse. Abuse has more to do with power than with sex.
Since abusers tend to groom their victims, their outward persona masks their inner intentions. Adults are groomed into blindness of financial abuse, making it easier for the abusers to pull the wool over the parents’ eyes when it comes to child abuse. Without the ability to be liked and glibly explain away inquiries, abusers cannot survive. A bank vice-president who is looting his own bank will not tell depositors, “That shopping mall we’re financing is paying me kickbacks.” People in charge of private institutions will squelch any hint of impropriety lest it interferes with fundraising. Whoever heard of a school principal running a fund raiser with the theme, “Help Us Stop Abusing Your Children”?
The More Authoritarian the School, More Likely the Abuse
When an institution’s mores are “Do not question authority,” people do not ask questions. Thus, one sign of an abusive institution is the administration’s dislike of questioning. That is often accompanied by a lack of disclosure. Since no one is to question authority, no one needs to know anything. Authoritarians are worse than merely “trust us.” They react with hostility to inquiries. Parents learn very quickly that it is best for their child, if the parents go along to get along.
Anna Freud Weighs in on Abusive Institutions
One of Anna Freud’s best contributions was the concept of Identification With the Aggressor. Specifically, the victim assumes the role of the aggressor by imitating the aggressiveness. By identifying with the aggressor, the child allays his/her fear of being victimized. The identification my be acted out as abuse against weaker individuals. The movie Mean Girls, shows this behavior, while appearing oblivious why the girls would behave in such a viciously predatory manner.
The TV series, The Closer, "Cherry Bomb" season 3, #46, July 28, 2008, revolves around an overbearing Sheriff Commander’s son who serially rapes girls in his high school and posts “cherries” next their photos on the school’s version of facebook. It doesn’t take a shrink to see the origin of the son’s predatory behavior.
The Tangled Web of Society’s Lies and Abuse
Often, psychologists will provide children with dolls to act out behavior in order to reverse engineer the cause of a child’s behavior. Such re-enactments can tell us more about the psychologist than the child as Los Angeles learned during the McMartin Preschool case. It turned out that the predator in the McMartin case was the Los Angeles District Attorney Office under Ira Kenneth Reiner, who concealed that the original complainant, Judy Johnson, was an alcoholic and schizophrenic.
Those familiar with the Los Angeles DA’s Office knew from almost the get-go that the predator in the McMartin case was the DA. The rest of the nation was convinced that a Satanic ring was abusing children in a labyrinth of tunnels beneath the school. wiki The DA did not drop the claim even after digging up the entire school grounds.
Because we are a predatorily abusive society, predatory abusers are ubiquitous. Abusers make false charges of abuse against the innocent. The California State Bar specializes in disbarring attorneys who expose judicial corruption such as Richard I. Fine, June 4, 2015, End California's Judicial Corruption Now; Stop 2015-16 Illegal Budget Payments to Judges! while it allows hideous abusers like Attorney Tom Girardi with over 150 complaints to steal from clients for decades, as long as the judges get their cut.
How do parents avoid the error of closing their eyes to child abuse and avoid becoming abusers in their zeal to protect their children?
(Richard Lee Abrams has been an attorney, a Realtor and community relations consultant as well as a CityWatch contributor. You may email him at [email protected]. The opinions expressed by Mr. Abrams are not necessarily those of CityWatchLA.com.)
