1) A sixteen year old English boy, Brandon Marshall, is the tallest teen in the world. He stands at 7ft 4in and is still growing. If he gets much taller, the NBA will be recruiting him. His team mates can just throw him the ball, while he stands by the basket, and drops it in. Of course it won't be long before the NBA issues "The Brandon Marshall Rule." You Can't Just Stand there and drop the ball in the basket. You have to shoot it.
2) A smuggler from Guyana was arrested at JFK, when he was caught with a bag full of 20 Finches. According to renowned ornithologist, Webley Hemingspoon, Finches have become extremely valuable and popular in the US. When asked why, he responded, "Who knows?" We have since learned that there is a huge Finch Cartel operating in Guyana and this guy was working for them.
3) Hillary Clinton said in a recent speech that white women, who voted for Trump, were motivated by pressure from their husbands, bosses, sons and whoever. Shouldn't that be Whomever? Often unions pressure members to vote for the union backed candidate. It occurs to me that when in the voting booth, neither the husband, Hillary or a union rep is in there, too. It's just you alone. So vote for the candidate YOU want. If asked if you voted the right way, just say, "Sure did."
4) A white man accused of robbing a Las Vegas Strip casino in blackface has been arrested. He has been charged with robbery in the armed holdup by a Federal Court. The charge carries a maximum penalty of 20 year plus an additional 5 years for the blackface.
5) In Boston a guy wearing the Elsa dress from the movie "Frozen" helped get police vehicle stuck in a snow bank out all on his own. That dress couldn't have been very warm and I bet Jack Frost was nipping at more than his nose. When, or if, King Jong un and Donald Trump meet which one do you think will win the "Goofiest Hair Competition"?
(Tom Murphy is a writer, humorist, actor, disc jockey and an occasional contributor to CityWatch. He lives in Los Angeles.)
-cw
