On The Road To Sacramento

GOVERNOR'S RACE - I got my sample ballot for the California primary election a few days ago, and ever since I’ve been going through the treasure trove of big shots, slim shots, no shots and wackos aspiring for the governor’s mansion. 

There are 59 people running for governor this year, which seems like a lot, even for a state as big as California. Of course a few of them have dropped out, which actually you can’t do in this state. Once your name is printed on the ballot, we can vote for you whether you like it or not. That’s why Betty Yee and Eric Swawell say they have “suspended their campaign.” Of course, Eric Swawell saying he suspended his campaign is like Donald Trump saying he once told a fib. 

The break-down of party preferences is 22 Democrats, 12 Republicans, one Libertarian and one Peace and Freedom candidate. That leaves 21 who said “none,” and four, no champions of transparency, who left the space blank. 

As for names, my favorite, hands down, is LIVINGFORGODANDCOUNTRY Demott, whose occupation is listed as chaplain. He beat out Barack D. Obama Shaw and Thunder Parley, the only indigenous candidate. I thought for a while that the printer had made a typo with Tom Steyer. I thought his first name was Billionaire. 

Vying for the top spot are, among others, 14 business owners (and five small business owners), four lawyers, a nurse, a hotel worker and a retired military sergeant. Dawit Keller and Lukasz Filinski list their occupation as father (not to be confused with chaplain) and Amanda Martin lays claim to mother. Some of the occupations are confusing. One of the reasons Betty Yee may have dropped out is because nobody could figure out what a family care navigator does. Five men left this space blank, perhaps indicating they are between jobs at the moment. 

The top two vote-getters, regardless of party, get to duke it out again in the general election in November. But don’t worry, somebody will eventually become California governor, even if we have suspended credulity by then. 

(Jack Shakely is president emeritus of the California Community Foundation in Los Angeles. He has suspended all campaigning from any local, state or national office. Jack is a contributor to CityWatchLA.com)