Trump Does Some Name Calling – What Else is New?

GELFAND’S WORLD - People were surprised when President Trump changed the name of the Gulf of Mexico and then abolished Lake Ontario. It was also a bit strange that the term “Artificial Intelligence” is to become “Super Intelligence,” also referred to as SI, since the acronym SI is already taken. It refers to the system of weights and measures (grams, meters, etc.) accepted all over the world. More recently, Trump has tried to work on state names  beginning with New Mexico, albeit with resistance from said states.

But who would have imagined that he would apply the same approach to Major League Baseball?

But if you have been following the philosophy espoused by Mr. Trump – explicit rejection of anything symbolizing equality before the law – you would be less surprised. Nevertheless, it was a bit of a shock when Trump decided to change the name of the Boston Red Sox to the Red White and Blue Sox, although in his anti-communist mind the logic is there. On the other hand, it wasn’t at all surprising that the San Diego Padres will be renamed, since the title refers to Father Junipero Serra’s extended trek from Mexico into Alta California. And it also wasn’t surprising that the Atlanta Braves are going to be given a new name. After all, the word “Braves” can be construed to refer to honorable military service in time of war. But it’s not true that the team will be renamed The Atlanta College Deferments.

I think that the strangest change, though – about to be confirmed through an Executive Order – has something to do with the fact that the president is a native New Yorker who has a mind of his own about the way things ought to be. The result is that the San Francisco Giants and the Los Angeles Dodgers will simply switch names with each other, resulting in the Los Angeles Giants and San Francisco Dodgers. Well, that’s one way to do a little gettin’ even with any team that would leave Brooklyn.

Residents of Kentucky and Indiana are still waiting nervously to find out if it is true that the Indianapolis 500 and the Kentucky Derby will now be the Trump 500 and the Ivanka Derby. The commander in chief claims the power to do this.

Back to baseball for a moment: It is yet to be decided whether the Savannah Bananas (they really exist) will be renamed after some other food group. White House insiders are betting that “The Cheeseburgers” is likely.

And of course there is professional football.

What is most certain is that by the end of this current cycle of renaming, the Kansas City Chiefs will be altered, with the name “Kansas City Caucasians” at the top of the list. The one team which seems bullet-proof is the New England Patriots. What remains uncertain is whether the president – with a known dislike for birds – will insist on changes to the Ravens, Falcons, Eagles, Seahawks, and Cardinals. On the other hand, large felines and other sorts of mammals seem to be safe. It is not clear how Trump will deal with the Cleveland Browns, since the name could be construed in various ways.

Who would have imagined that one man can do so much with a simple Executive Order? At least our local residents can be glad that the president is unaware of the historical origin of the word California.

Addendum: The idea behind this little exercise is borrowed from a comedy routine performed by Al Franken and the late Tom Davis some years ago.

(Bob Gelfand writes on science, culture, and politics for CityWatch. He can be reached at [email protected])