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#  What’s Wrong with Fliers' Rights

July 09 2018

Written by Tom (Broken News) Murphy.

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![](https://mail.citywatchla.com/images/stories/July-2018/055a.png)1) The FAA has declared it is not its job to regulate seat size or legroom on planes. This was in response to a lawsuit filed by the group Fliers Rights. Since 1978 seats have moved 3 inches closer. The width of seats is around 17 inches and seat pitch has been reduced from 35 to 31 and even as low as 28. With the seats, the legroom and that tiny bag of what may or may not be trail mix, ain't flyin' grand? According to a source, someone at the FAA said. "Hey! You want a bigger seat and more leg room, save up and fly first class.

2\) The U.N. is calling for an ARK to save the world from global warming. Not a Noah type physical ark but an ark of ambition. Al Gore has already let it be known he wants to be the captain. He claims he deserves the position as a reward for all his pioneering hard work with regard to global warming.
When told the ark wasn't a physical ark he said he didn't care. He still wants to be captain. Somebody involved with this said, "Tell him OK, he can be captain."

3\) Several Rite Aid stores in California are playing Barry Manilow songs that are being used to chase away vagrants who have taken up residency in front of their stores and it seems to be working. Among the "favorites" are classic Manilow songs "Copacabana" and "I Write The Songs (That Make The Whole World Sing) and (The Vagrants Move). The stores also feature Barry's "Somewhere Down The Road" hoping hearing that one will move them down the road to a CVS store.

4\) This one happened a while back but you may have missed it. A man, no name was given, has been charged with electrocuting his wife during"Kinky Sex."It appears he hooked her up, we have no information on what that entailed, to some electrical device and cranked it up. We think he might have said something like, "Hey baby, this'll drive you out of your mind." It appears it also drove her out of this world.

5\) Scientists in Texas have found a drug, when given to mice BEFORE radiation exposure is 5000 times more effective than current radiation therapy. The problem is the BEFORE part. Unless you get a "Heads Up" BEFORE the Flash of Light affords you the thrill of being vaporized, this stuff isn't a big deal.

*(Tom Murphy is a writer, humorist, actor, disc jockey and an occasional contributor to CityWatch. He lives in Los Angeles.)*

-cw

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