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#  Doze at Your Own Risk

May 21 2018

Written by Tom (Broken News) Murphy.

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![](https://mail.citywatchla.com/images/stories/May-2018/038h.png)

![](https://mail.citywatchla.com/images/stories/May-2018/041h.png)1) Durango, a small town in Southwestern Colorado, has passed an ordinance the bans sitting or lying down on sidewalks, curbs, streets, railways (who would lie on a railway?), alleys and parking spaces from 7AM to 2:30AM. People can rest on benches but no dozing off. From 2:30AM until 7:00AM the ban is not in effect. So, you can get some get some rest or doze off during those hours but be sure to leave a 7:00AM wake up call.

2\) Daytona Beach cops tried to pull over Tobias Smith for cutting through a parking lot to avoid a traffic light. He took off and a chase ensued where he hit a car and a light post. He got out of the car and started running but his pants fell down around his ankles which caused him to fall down. He was charged with leaving the scene of an accident and a misdemeanor charge of "Dropped Trousers."

3\) I tried the goofy which one do you hear Yanny or Laurel? I heard Yanni the Greek piano player and he was playing a terrific salute the American piano player, Lincoln Mayorga.

4\) Starbuck's official policy is now to welcome all non-paying guests. Before too long all their guests will be non-paying guests. Next, they will have complaints about the long waits. Not for service. There won't be any paying guests waiting in line to buy coffee. The long waits will be non-paying guests lined up to get into the restrooms.

5\) The Center for Research and Take-Out has determined that the average person will lock themselves out 3.7 times per 10 years. Further, most precautions like leaving a key with a neighbor or hiding a key will fail. The neighbor won't be home and you won't remember where you hid the key. With this in mind, the Center advises you to save time and frustration and "Break A Window."

*(Tom Murphy is a writer, humorist, actor, disc jockey and an occasional contributor to CityWatch. He lives in Los Angeles.)*

-cw

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