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 [ SAY WHAT? ](https://mail.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=category&id=376)

#  Fake News Vol V

![](https://mail.citywatchla.com/images/stories/Jan-2018/1606a.png)

This Just In: Movement to Ban Assault Burritos

\#1. A Taco Bell employee, in Alabama, is in trouble for throwing a "Hot Burrito" at his boss. It hit her, too. There are already moves afoot, if not to impose an outright ban, at the very least, to severely regulate **Assault Burritos**.![](https://mail.citywatchla.com/images/stories/Jan-2018/1609v.png)

 #2. Mohammed is becoming a popular name. In Austria it's #3, it's moving up in Germany and it is the most popular name in Israel. No data on how Mohammed is doing in the US but it's likely to have already passed LaMar.

Written by Tom (Broken News) Murphy.

January 29 2018

<a class="a2a_button_facebook"></a><a class="a2a_button_twitter"></a><a class="a2a_button_email"></a><a class="a2a_button_print"></a>[](https://www.addtoany.com/share)

![](https://mail.citywatchla.com/images/stories/Jan-2018/1606a.png)

This Just In: Movement to Ban Assault Burritos

\#1. A Taco Bell employee, in Alabama, is in trouble for throwing a "Hot Burrito" at his boss. It hit her, too. There are already moves afoot, if not to impose an outright ban, at the very least, to severely regulate **Assault Burritos**.![](https://mail.citywatchla.com/images/stories/Jan-2018/1609v.png)

 #2. Mohammed is becoming a popular name. In Austria it's #3, it's moving up in Germany and it is the most popular name in Israel. No data on how Mohammed is doing in the US but it's likely to have already passed LaMar.

 #3. After 20 years in a wildlife sanctuary in England, Harold the Vulture finally laid an egg. So, he was a she. Why no suitors? Probably, even for a Vulture she wasn't that attractive and maybe let it be known "She wasn't that kind of Vulture." Well, after 20 years she might have decided to try "Being That Kind Of Vulture". It worked.

 #4. Beverly Hills plans to install 600 TV cameras around the city to thwart crime. If you are a resident, chances are you're going to be on camera, probably more than most actors. Give that some thought. You don't want the people checking the videos saying things like: "Nice outfit lady" or "What an ugly dog, yeh, and the kid in the stroller is no bargain, either."

 #5. It turns out pot purchasers in LA are being hit with a version of "Sticker Shock" or more accurately "Tax Shock" when they take a hit of a 28% to sometimes a 40% tax. When asked about the tax, one customer replied, “This is like so uncool.”

[![](https://mail.citywatchla.com/images/ME%20DENTAL%20SPA/me%20dental%202026%20final.jpg)](http://medentalspa.com/)

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##  Featured CityWatch Stories

 [ ![](https://mail.citywatchla.com/media/yootheme/cache/34/065h-34e1b43b.jpg) ](https://mail.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=33212:reminder-to-the-red-states-turnabout-is-fair-play&catid=395)

### [Reminder to the Red States, Turnabout is Fair Play](https://mail.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=33212:reminder-to-the-red-states-turnabout-is-fair-play&catid=395)

GELFAND’S WORLD - Indiana has been pounded by rains that resulted in widespread flooding. While the rain was still comi…

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### [Brace Yourself For A Worse Housing Crisis](https://mail.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=33148:brace-yourself-for-a-worse-housing-crisis&catid=398)

PLANNING WATCH - The California State Legislature will soon vote on the following draft legislation. Please carefully…

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### [California’s Empty Classrooms Are a Warning Sacramento Can’t Ignore](https://mail.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=33213:californias-empty-classrooms-are-a-warning-sacramento-cant-ignore&catid=378)

A STUDENT'S VIEW - California is spending more on public education, yet classrooms are emptying, campuses are closing…

 [ ![](https://mail.citywatchla.com/media/yootheme/cache/75/064a-75d5dbb3.jpg) ](https://mail.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=33199:your-boss-owns-your-workday-not-your-brain&catid=425)

### [Your Boss Owns Your Workday—Not Your Brain](https://mail.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=33199:your-boss-owns-your-workday-not-your-brain&catid=425)

THE NEURAL WORKPLACE - California must protect workers before workplace surveillance crosses the final frontier: the hu…

 [ ![](https://mail.citywatchla.com/media/yootheme/cache/fe/064i-febc3c1a.jpg) ](https://mail.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=33203:all-talk-no-action-nithya-ramans-reckoning&catid=401)

### [All Talk, No Action: Nithya Raman’s Reckoning](https://mail.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=33203:all-talk-no-action-nithya-ramans-reckoning&catid=401)

THE BOTTOM LINE - Nithya Raman lost the homelessness gavel, and the most damaging verdict didn’t come from Republicans…

---

##  [ SAY WHAT? ](https://mail.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=category&id=376)

 [ ![](https://mail.citywatchla.com/images/stories/Nov-2024/093p.jpg) ](https://mail.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=29907:oh-for-f-ks-sake&catid=376)### [Oh For F\*\*k's Sake](https://mail.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=29907:oh-for-f-ks-sake&catid=376)

 [ ![](https://mail.citywatchla.com/images/stories/Oct-2024/082n.jpg) ](https://mail.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=29692:a-monument-to-cruelty&catid=376)### [A Monument To Cruelty](https://mail.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=29692:a-monument-to-cruelty&catid=376)

 [ ![](https://mail.citywatchla.com/images/stories/Sept-2024/074i.jpg) ](https://mail.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=29532:omg-now-theyre-coming-for-our-cats-and-chairs-and-ducks&catid=376)### [OMG Now They're Coming For Our Cats and Chairs and Ducks](https://mail.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=29532:omg-now-theyre-coming-for-our-cats-and-chairs-and-ducks&catid=376)

 [ ![](https://mail.citywatchla.com/images/stories/June-2024/049m.jpg) ](https://mail.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=29066:shame-shame-shame-martha-ann-is-an-ungodly-piece-of-work&catid=376)### [Shame, Shame, Shame: Martha-Ann Is an Ungodly Piece of Work](https://mail.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=29066:shame-shame-shame-martha-ann-is-an-ungodly-piece-of-work&catid=376)

 [ ![](https://mail.citywatchla.com/images/stories/May-2024/038r.jpg) ](https://mail.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=28868:they-walk-among-us-mississippi-goddamn-still&catid=376)### [They Walk Among Us: Mississippi Goddamn, Still](https://mail.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=28868:they-walk-among-us-mississippi-goddamn-still&catid=376)
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