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# Kill Your Lawn Before It Kills You
February 10 2014
Written by Odysseus Bostick.
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***THE BOSTICK REPORT***-Fair warning: Reading this article may incite nausea, vomiting, irritation of the lungs and esophagus in addition to damage to your central nervous system. Contact with the skin may result in rashes and systemic poisoning, so don’t rub your face on your computer while you read this. Evidence has linked the long-term effects of this product with depression, mania, non-hodgkins lymphoma, childhood leukemia, disrupted hormone regulation, infertility, incomplete sexual development in your children …
All of that has been printed on the warning label for lawn fertilizers.
We are in a drought, officially. Many critics say this declaration of drought is long overdue, but the inarguable fact is that we’ve been in droughts before and rain has finally come. This too shall pass (probably).
Moving beyond water politics, it’s certainly clear that Southern California will always struggle in providing water to its 22 million residents. In light of that, it’s time that we begin a serious reconsideration of the value of our lawns.
They don’t do much. Sure, they provide a little protection against erosion. Beyond that, lawns are nothing more than a fashion statement. Much like fur coats, pegging your jeans, getting your tips frosted at Supercuts, hitting a tanning booth, and donning a set of shoulder pads, sporting a lush lawn in Southern California can and should be reclassified as yesterday’s embarrassment.
Good news is; we can get over the idea that lawns are cool. After all, you decided to sunset those trucker hats and stopped popping the collar on your Polo. Why can’t you see the folly of hanging on to that front lawn you never use?
Don’t get me wrong. I get the hype. A well-manicured, lush green lawn represents your success. It’s like a fine watch –a social indicator of your respectability and affluence. An attractive lawn also just looks nice. Makes me think of prosperity. Lets everyone who sees it know you probably pay your taxes and can be counted on as a good neighbor.
Unfortunately, we dump a lot of water on our lawns. Nationwide, nine billion gallons a day is used to irrigate our fashion statements. In many homes in Southern California, nearly 60% of residential water gets dumped on our lawns, into the gutter, and shoots into the ocean. That’s a sad end to a journey that begins in Colorado. Fashion never cost so much.
Yet, water waste isn’t the only reason to rip your grass out. Our lawns are drenched in pesticides. Each year, about 75 million pounds of pesticides are dumped onto our lawns to keep them pretty. The warning label language I presented to you is far more frightening to me than any Stephen King novel – because it’s real. And it affects our children and pets the most. Worse yet, the effects are aggregated over the course of years of exposure. Something very easy to dismiss.
Beyond the leukemia, increased asthma rates, and toxic particulates we kick up in the air with our profane leaf blowers is the long-term damage our lawns are inflicting on our water.
With phosphorous and nitrogen being the two most prevalent ingredients in lawn care products, we’re creating vast algae blooms in the ocean when they escape as runoff. Those blooms then deplete water of its oxygen and choke off all life – thus removing our ability to harvest the fish, shrimp, and other animals we eat for food.
And for what? What value do lawns provide us? Clearly, this is an issue of priorities: do we want our fashionable lawns or do we want a secure food network through the central valley and a sustainable supply of water to drink?
There are good programs to incentivize the murder of your lawn. DWP pays $2 a square foot. Through this and other efforts, Southern California has made major strides in water conservation. Over the last 40 years, Los Angeles has grown by over 1 million people yet we use less water today than then. That’s something to be proud of and it definitely qualifies as a good start.
We can build on that in this upcoming election. We need to elect people to our state assembly and senate who are committed to creating better water policy that incentivizes smarter consumer choices. We need legislators who are fighting for safe gray-water and rainwater recapture systems so we can maximize the scant little rain we get here and we need somebody with the guts to advocate for raising the price consumers pay so our bills reflect the real value of the water we waste.
Until then, you can do something good for your neighborhood today. Rip out your lawn. Just kill it. Then buy some rocks. It’s the new cool.
***(Odysseus Bostick is a Los Angeles teacher and former candidate for the Los Angeles City Council. He writes The Bostick Report for CityWatch.)***
***-cw***
**CityWatch**
**Vol 12 Issue 12**
**Pub: Feb 11, 2014**
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