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# Dealing with Snipers, Grenades, Know-It-All’s and Other Difficult People
July 23 2012
Written by Greg Nelson.
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EMPOWERMENT REPORT - Twice a year, delegations of City Council members go to the California and National League of Cities Conferences, but no one ever knows what they do, what they learned, or why the taxpayers should be sending them.
I can’t recall a single motion ever mentioning that it was inspired at one of these conferences. Well, there was the motion about asking the federal government to grow food for the homeless on the new space station that was being built, but it never got submitted.
In 2008 I went to the NLC conference in Orlando, at my own expense, to speak about the Los Angeles neighborhood council system.
While there, I searched for possible Congress of Neighborhoods workshop topics, and I found one called “Dealing with Difficult Personalities.”
The consultants who led the session quoted quite a bit from a book entitled “Dealing with People You Can’t Stand: How to Bring Out the Best in People at Their Worst.”
I’ve always felt that the one thing that can cause a neighborhood council to do a complete “180” is the quality of its president.
The president can be a model like Steve MacDonald of the newly-formed Mid City West Community Council, or a disaster like the president who wanted his council to be decertified so he could get new board members elected because the current ones wouldn’t do what he told them.
From that training session I learned how to identify, understand, and deal with some of personalities that populate offices, community organizations, and neighborhood councils.
TANKS. Overly-aggressive because they want to get things done. They feel all criticism is personal. Be assertive, stay under control, and don’t get into a war of words with them.
SNIPERS. They try to embarrass you, and want people to get out of their way. Call them out by asking for positive solutions.
KNOW-IT-ALLS. The name says it all. They know exactly how to do everything, so they want to control the conversation. The smarter they are, the less likely they are to hear your suggestions. Repeat their ideas so they won’t, and use an indirect way to get them to listen to your ideas.
THINK-THEY-KNOW-IT-ALLS. They know a little bit about a subject, and speak up as a way of getting attention. They like to exaggerate. Respectfully ask them to back-up their statements.
GRENADES. They get angry because their ideas aren’t getting support. Stay calm and take control even if it means raising your voice so they can hear you. Try and understand what sets them off.
YES PEOPLE. They can’t say no because they want to get along with everybody. Get commitments from them that are achievable. Someone needs to help them get organized.
NO PEOPLE. You can find them everywhere … the ones you can count on to give all the reasons why a plan won’t work. (There are lots of them in city departments, and especially in the city attorney’s office.) Work through their criticisms to determine if any are valid. Even a blind squirrel finds an acorn now and them.
WHINERS. Nothing ever turns out right so they feel that change is hopeless, and they complain even more. Understand what they’re whining about and try and turn them into problem solvers with your help.
Finally, if a workshop like this is ever presented, someone needs to ensure that its valuable information is at least summarized in writing so the greatest number of people can benefit from it.
That hasn’t been the case at the Congress of Neighborhoods for many years. If you missed the workshop you were just out of luck.
*(Greg Nelson is a former general manager of the Department of Neighborhood Empowerment, was instrumental in the creation of the LA Neighborhood Council System, served as chief of staff for former LA City Councilman Joel Wachs … and occasionally writes for CityWatch. He can be reached at gregn213@cox.net)*
-cw
CityWatch
Vol 10 Issue 59
Pub: July 24, 2012
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