---

 [ ARCHIVE ](https://mail.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=category&id=16)

#  Labor Day Ruined as America Fails to Find Working Man to Honor

September 05 2011

Written by Andy Borowitz.

<a class="a2a_button_facebook"></a><a class="a2a_button_twitter"></a><a class="a2a_button_email"></a><a class="a2a_button_print"></a>[](https://www.addtoany.com/share)

![](https://mail.citywatchla.com/images/stories/Sept-2011/cw9-71g.png)CITYWATCH LITE - A dark pall was cast over Labor Day 2011 as efforts to find a working man to honor came up empty.

A nationwide manhunt that began weeks ago in the hopes of locating a working man in time for Labor Day was called off early this morning, as frustrated officials acknowledged that their efforts to find such an employed person were fruitless.
Hopes were raised late yesterday afternoon when Tracy Klugian, 27, of Evanston, Illinois came forward and said that he was gainfully employed at a frozen yogurt establishment and was thus deserving of Labor Day recognition.

But after several hours of grilling from local law enforcement, “his story just didn’t check out,” said one official familiar with the case.

“For one thing, he said he got his job in August, and as the recent job report shows, the number of people who did that was zero,” the official said. “Sadly, this is just a sick individual who wanted attention.”

With all hopes of locating a working man dashed, officials said it might be time to change the official meaning of Labor Day to make it more in sync with the realities of contemporary American life.

“Maybe instead of honoring the working man we could honor people who spend all day on Facebook,” one official said.

*(Andy Borowitz is a comedian and satirist. Get the Borowitz Report free [here](http://borowitzreport.us1.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=49de3335c30245ecd0fa291aa&id=743947b930). Get Borowitz book, “The Fifty Funniest American Writers” [here](http://www.amazon.com/gp/aws/cart/add.html?AssociateTag=theborrep-20&SubscriptionId=0EMJ6TWAXGX6JF1NP202&ASIN.1=1598531077&Quantity.1=1&add=Buy).)*  -cw

Tags: Labor Day, employed, unemployed

CityWatch
Vol 9 Issue 71
Pub: Sept 6, 2011

 [ ![save up to 4000 on used evs](https://mail.citywatchla.com/images/LADWP/dwp%20ev%20ad2.png) ](https://mail.citywatchla.com/component/banners/click/107 "LA DWP | Save $4K, Green | Priority Ad")

 [ ![LA DWP #2 (Pay Your Bill Help)](https://mail.citywatchla.com/images/LADWP/dwp%20level%20pay%205-7-25.jpg) ](https://mail.citywatchla.com/component/banners/click/82 "LA DWP #2 (Pay Your Bill Help)")

 [ ![Your Free DIY Lawn-To-Garden Resource](https://mail.citywatchla.com/images/LADWP/LADWP_LEAP_300x250.png) ](https://mail.citywatchla.com/component/banners/click/88 "LA DWP - Home")

 [ ![Pay Water Bill Help](https://mail.citywatchla.com/images/LADWP/dwp%20-%20cares-ad.jpg) ](https://mail.citywatchla.com/component/banners/click/97 "Home - LA DWP #2 (Pay Water Bill Help)")

 [ ![Donna Tryfman](https://mail.citywatchla.com/images/ADS%20FOR%202026/Donna-Tryfman-Ad-Final-Complete-Border-White-Margin.png) ](https://mail.citywatchla.com/component/banners/click/98 "Donna Tryfman - HS1-1")

 ![](https://mail.citywatchla.com/images/banners/signup-for-cw.png)

## Get The News In Your Email Inbox Mondays &amp; Thursdays

 Website

 ---

##  Featured CityWatch Stories

 [ ![](https://mail.citywatchla.com/media/yootheme/cache/a9/070g-a9407aaa.jpg) ](https://mail.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=33278:they-said-it-made-no-sense-then-they-voted-yes&catid=327)

### [They Said It Made No Sense. Then They Voted Yes.](https://mail.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=33278:they-said-it-made-no-sense-then-they-voted-yes&catid=327)

INVESTIGATIVE ANALYSIS - Sacramento has streamlined housing approvals so aggressively that residents rarely get a heari…

 [ ![](https://mail.citywatchla.com/media/yootheme/cache/20/070h-20f29015.jpg) ](https://mail.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=33277:trump-world-from-assassination-abroad-to-chaos-at-home&catid=395)

### [Trump World. From Assassination Abroad to Chaos at Home](https://mail.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=33277:trump-world-from-assassination-abroad-to-chaos-at-home&catid=395)

GELFAND’S WORLD - We’re at a moment when all sorts of political questions are coming to a head. And if that old phrase…

 [ ![](https://mail.citywatchla.com/media/yootheme/cache/88/071n-88bb0b90.png) ](https://mail.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=33300:follow-the-money-how-does-a-3-662-apartment-become-affordable-housing&catid=312)

### [Follow the Money: How Does a $3,662 Apartment Become “Affordable Housing”?](https://mail.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=33300:follow-the-money-how-does-a-3-662-apartment-become-affordable-housing&catid=312)

INVESTIGATIVE ANALYSIS - ED 1 Is Redeveloping Los Angeles—One Neighborhood at a Time You know that persistent, annoyin…

 [ ![](https://mail.citywatchla.com/media/yootheme/cache/4b/070i-4ba64015.jpg) ](https://mail.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=33283:newsoms-next-immigration-gamble-defy-federal-law-and-dare-washington-to-fight-back&catid=375)

### [Newsom’s Next Immigration Gamble: Defy Federal Law And Dare Washington To Fight Back](https://mail.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=33283:newsoms-next-immigration-gamble-defy-federal-law-and-dare-washington-to-fight-back&catid=375)

MY THOUGHTS - Gov. Gavin Newsom is about to decide whether California should take another extraordinary gamble with fed…

 [ ![](https://mail.citywatchla.com/media/yootheme/cache/44/071d-441a7ed2.jpg) ](https://mail.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=33308:as-california-debated-sharing-data-on-drivers-homeland-security-subpoenaed-17-million-records&catid=425)

### [As California Debated Sharing Data On Drivers, Homeland Security Subpoenaed 17 Million Records](https://mail.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=33308:as-california-debated-sharing-data-on-drivers-homeland-security-subpoenaed-17-million-records&catid=425)

TECHNOLOGY - California lawmakers wrestled with a difficult question earlier this summer: Could the state safely share…

---

##  [ ARCHIVE ](https://mail.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=category&id=16)

 [ ![](https://mail.citywatchla.com/images/stories/Apr-2018/034e.png) ](https://mail.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=15339:early-intervention-and-jobs-are-key-to-stemming-chronic-homelessness-in-los-angeles&catid=16)### [Early Intervention and Jobs are Key to Stemming Chronic Homelessness in Los Angeles](https://mail.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=15339:early-intervention-and-jobs-are-key-to-stemming-chronic-homelessness-in-los-angeles&catid=16)

### [Tucker Carlson and Gay Rightwinger Blame California Wildfires On Hiring LGBTQ People](https://mail.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=18755:tucker-carlson-and-gay-rightwinger-blame-california-wildfires-on-hiring-lgbtq-people&catid=16)

### [Anti-LGBTQ Veep Just Can’t Stop Talking about Mayor Pete](https://mail.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=17690:anti-lgbtq-veep-just-can-t-stop-talking-about-mayor-pete&catid=16)

 [ ![](https://mail.citywatchla.com/images/stories/Apr-2018/033j.png) ](https://mail.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=15316:news-pulse-corrupt-system-reason-for-not-voting-in-2018-majority-wants-more-than-two-parties&catid=16)### [NEWS PULSE: ‘Corrupt System’ Reason for Not Voting in 2018 … Majority Wants More Than Two Parties](https://mail.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=15316:news-pulse-corrupt-system-reason-for-not-voting-in-2018-majority-wants-more-than-two-parties&catid=16)

 [ ![](https://mail.citywatchla.com/images/stories/Jan-2016/1404d.png) ](https://mail.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=10245:dead-dog-set-on-fire-sparks-fears-for-strays-in-los-angeles&catid=16)### [Dead Dog Set on Fire … Sparks Fears for Strays in Los Angeles](https://mail.citywatchla.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=10245:dead-dog-set-on-fire-sparks-fears-for-strays-in-los-angeles&catid=16)
<div data-id="1" 
	class="eb-inst eb-hide eb-emailform eb-1 eboxContentLocker"
	data-options='{"trigger":"onPageLoad","trigger_selector":"","delay":3000,"early_trigger":true,"scroll_depth":"percentage","scroll_depth_value":80,"firing_frequency":1,"reverse_scroll_close":true,"threshold":0,"close_out_viewport":false,"exit_timer":1000,"idle_time":10000,"close_on_esc":false,"animation_open":"slideInDown","animation_close":"fadeOutDown","animation_duration":400,"disable_page_scroll":true,"test_mode":false,"debug":false,"ga_tracking":true,"ga_tracking_id":"G-P16BQ7X1SW","ga_tracking_event_category":"EngageBox","ga_tracking_event_label":"Box #1 - Global Email Signup Form","auto_focus":false}'
	data-type='popup'
	>

	<button type="button" data-ebox-cmd="close" class="eb-close placement-outside" aria-label="Close">
	<img alt="close popup button" />
	<span aria-hidden="true">&times;</span>
</button>
	<div class="eb-dialog eb-formVer" role="dialog" aria-modal="true" id="dialog1" aria-label="dialog1">
		
		<button type="button" data-ebox-cmd="close" class="eb-close placement-inside" aria-label="Close">
	<img alt="close popup button" />
	<span aria-hidden="true">&times;</span>
</button>	
		<div class="eb-container">
						<div class="eb-content">
				
<form action="https://citywatchla.us2.list-manage.com/subscribe/post?u=34d69f33624fd058ee9b56516&amp;id=4bfa422f51&amp;f_id=00d6c2e1f0" class="eb" method="post" id="mcform-1" name="mcform-1" target="_blank">
			<div class="eb-form-header"><p><img src="/images/2023/06/be-a-city-watcher.png" alt="be a city watcher" width="350" height="97" loading="lazy" data-path="local-images:/2023/06/be-a-city-watcher.png"></p>
<p>Sign up to receive our special e-news blasts on Monday and Thursday evenings!</p></div>
	
					<div class="eb-field-row">

			
			
			
			<input class="eb-input" type="email" name="EMAIL"  placeholder="Email address"  id="EMAIL" value="" required>

			
		</div>
										
	<div class="eb-footer">
    	<button class="eb-btn" type="submit" name="subscribe" style="background-color:rgba(93, 183, 93, 1);color:rgba(255, 255, 255, 1)">
    		Sign up    	</button>
    </div>
</form>			</div>
		</div>
	</div>	
</div>
<div data-id="3" 
	class="eb-inst eb-hide eb-yesno eb-3 "
	data-options='{"trigger":"onScrollDepth","trigger_selector":"","delay":0,"early_trigger":false,"scroll_depth":"percentage","scroll_depth_value":80,"firing_frequency":2,"reverse_scroll_close":false,"threshold":0,"close_out_viewport":false,"exit_timer":1000,"idle_time":1000,"close_on_esc":false,"animation_open":"fadeInUp","animation_close":"fadeOut","animation_duration":300,"disable_page_scroll":false,"test_mode":false,"debug":false,"ga_tracking":true,"ga_tracking_id":"G-P16BQ7X1SW","ga_tracking_event_category":"EngageBox","ga_tracking_event_label":"Box #3 - Yes \/ No Donation Popup Box","auto_focus":false}'
	data-type='popup'
	>

	<button type="button" data-ebox-cmd="close" class="eb-close placement-outside" aria-label="Close">
	<img alt="close popup button" />
	<span aria-hidden="true">&times;</span>
</button>
	<div class="eb-dialog " role="dialog" aria-modal="true" id="dialog3" aria-label="dialog3">
		
		<button type="button" data-ebox-cmd="close" class="eb-close placement-inside" aria-label="Close">
	<img alt="close popup button" />
	<span aria-hidden="true">&times;</span>
</button>	
		<div class="eb-container">
						<div class="eb-content">
				
<div class="ebox-yes-no">
	<div class="ebox-yn-text">
		
		
		<div class="ebox-yn-headline" style="font-size:22px;color:#888888">
			<p>If you only give once a month, would you consider giving to CityWatch?</p>
<p>Your support fuels our mission to promote and facilitate civic engagement and neighborhood empowerment, and to hold area government and its politicians accountable.</p>
<p>Would you like to help? Even if you can only give $5, it will make a difference.</p>		</div>
			</div>
	
	<div class="ebox-ys-buttons" style="font-size: 16px;">
		
<a
					data-ebox-prevent="0"
		data-ebox-cmd="close"
				target="_self"
		href="https://www.citywatchla.com/donate"
		rel="noopener"
	
	
	
	
	class="ebox-ys-btn"
	style="background-color:#2ec664;color:#ffffff;min-width:100px">
	Yes
	</a>
<a
	
	
			data-ebox-cmd="close"
		href="#"
	
	
	class="ebox-ys-btn"
	style="background-color:#ef2345;color:#ffffff;min-width:100px">
	Not Right Now
	</a>	</div>

	</div>			</div>
		</div>
	</div>	
</div>