The Powder Room Trumps the Locker Room

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DC WATCH--If you google the phrase “locker room talk,” (LRT)  you won't see an image of a sunset-hued Neanderthal dressed in a  kosovorotka, but a definition put forth by the Urban Dictionary. This method of communication is defined as “any manner of conversation, that polite society dictates be held privately - with small groups of like-minded, similarly gendered peers - due to its sexually charged language, situations or innuendos.” 

From my perspective, LRT is a  gateway to groping, unsolicited touching, sexual assault, coercion, criminal threats, and a  witch’s brew of generally unaccepted forms of  behavior. So I dare ask, did Sen Franken and Rep Conyers, compare notes on their multiple conquests in the locker room, while sharing salacious tales, possibly over Big Macs and Malt Shakes?    

Over the past few weeks, Washington has been gobsmacked by allegations of outrageous behavior we thought only the other coastal elites in Los Angeles engage in. Turns out we Washingtonians are deplorable hypocrites too. Enter Franken’s wandering hand, Conyers pret- a- porter undergarments,Joe Barton and his selfie stick aimed a bit too far south, and who could forget the Senatorial candidate Roy Moore and his affinity for all things juvenile? 

In a resurgence of the East Coast/West Coast rivalry and in a competitive race to the bottom, our  disgraceful east coast team has managed to capture the limelight. Creepin ain't easy and relies on the privileged and confidential corners of Washington to maintain a shroud of secrecy Langley could only aspire to. 

In October of 2016, I wrote an article in the Huffington Post about sexual harrasment in the legal word and how the ABA was taking active measures to deal with. I came to the conclusion that  women in the legal industry were being held back from career advancement for a variety of reasons that have nothing to do with their intellect, work ethic, or contributions. Gretchen Carlson was a pilgrim in this respect and should be lauded for the impact her courageous actions are having across corporate America. 

While it may be unrealistic to ask men to make bond over chipotle and backgammon, the alpha chatter of the locker room and its swampy offspring need to evolve. Maybe we move the discussion to the member’s cloak room where it is subject to the checks and balances of the great women who work in Congress? Or maybe we appropriate a few million from the tax bill to develop a high tech “members only” room where virtual vixens & sex bots fulfill the impulses  of men who have a problem seeking consent from living, breathing organisms? 

Social revolutions often spring forth from the strangest of places and my hope is the Powder Room movement is no different. We women have been dreaming of a social nirvana free from creepers from both West and East. From our own parlors of secrecy and shame, we fantasized what life would be like without a world where creepers could tilt the scales and there was little we could do. We secretly cheered for Gretchen Carlson, Rose McGowan, Asia Argento and more to come. 

Today with every stroke of blush and slather of lipstick, women across the nation are pinching themselves because these legendary falls from grace didn't seem possible pre Harvey Weinstein.  Cartoonish executives drunk on power are now forced to face the sobering reality that the rules governing workplace interaction are now based on precedent. 

The powder room  movement is now firmly implanted  as a key synapse of our national consciousness. It will now be governed by the political laws of thermodynamics-- energy/momentum transferred from one coast to another but never destroyed--- and will dominate the national headlines until subrogated by the next kinetic social movement.  As such, the coastal and professional elites deserve to publically endure the growing pains our nation is slowly coming to terms with. We rise and fall as one nation with the dividends  paid to the generations of women to come.

 

(Sara Corcoran is the founder and publisher of National Court Monitor. She provides perspective on the nation’s capital for CityWatch.)

-cw