#1. The media "fawn-a-thon" over Kim Jong-un's adorable little sister, Kim Yo-jung, has finally reached nuclear proportions. Anonymous sources report that NBC has offered her a TV series. When asked if she spoke English, they said who cares. If she doesn't they will just use sub titles. It will be produced in North Korea so she can continue to meet the demands of her position as North Korea's Minister of Propaganda and Agitation. Her brother and his hair cut might even make a guest appearance.
#2. It's possible that a medical procedure to determine biological evidence for being in "true love" could be available by 2028. It works by detecting potent love chemicals in the brain using an MRI type scanner. If this works it could mean lasting relationships. A spokesperson for the American Association of Divorce Lawyers, says, referencing an old legal term, "we're going to nip this in the bud" by arguing this procedure will be unconstitutional.
#3. How about the Obama paintings? Obama claims he wanted his to show less gray hair and smaller ears. I think those two items were the least of the problems. After giving both paintings careful consideration the only thing I can say is: "What in the world were you two kids thinking?"
#4. The Center For Research and Take-Out recently conducted a survey asking people, if given the chance, would they live their lives over. Most said yes but they would insist on some major editing, script revisions, changes in locations, financing and definitely the recasting of some friends and family members.
#5. An independent investigative report says there is little proof that flossing works. The Government says the effectiveness of flossing has never been researched as required. While scientific evidence is weak, it is still recommended you floss if for no other reason than to get your dentist off your back about it.
(Tom Murphy is a writer, humorist, actor, disc jockey and an occasional contributor to CityWatch. He lives in Los Angeles.)